


(There's certain things that I ignore But) I'm certain that I'm yours

by LouiseLouise



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Buck holds a baby and Eddie's heart melts, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:09:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22893829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LouiseLouise/pseuds/LouiseLouise
Summary: Eddie knows he loves Buck, but he never imagined Buck would love him back. All it takes is a baby and a family reunion for truths to be shared.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 29
Kudos: 576





	(There's certain things that I ignore But) I'm certain that I'm yours

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta's, all mistakes are mine and English is not my first language.  
> Title from James Arthur "Certain Things"

“You’re gonna be a great dad someday,” Eddie says softly, sitting beside his friend. “I mean, if that’s something you want.”

Eddie invited Buck to celebrate his niece Sofia’s first birthday at Abuela’s house and it didn’t take long for his friend to blend in with Eddie’s relatives, like he somehow always belonged to the family, and that thought alone makes the butterflies in Eddie’s chest fly faster.

Kids are running around playing and shouting at each other, grown ups are emptying wine glasses while pretending to have serious conversations and Eddie, Eddie’s mesmerized by the sight of Buck comfortably sitting on the porch swing, facing the backyard away from the noisy crowd, little Sofia safely asleep in his arms.

You’re gonna be a great dad someday, Eddie says, _and_ _I wish you’d do it with me_ , he doesn’t say, keeping his heart closed and his wishes to himself, aware he’ll never be good enough for Buck to want a family with him.

Buck smiles. “I don’t know about that.”

“You’re amazing with kids, you’ve always been. Just look at how peaceful she is in your arms.” Eddie carefully brushes the girl’s fuzzy hair. “You’re the only one who could calm her.”

There’s a sadness to Buck’s smile that Eddie can’t quite explain.

“It’s not that I don’t want kids,” Buck says. “It’s-- it takes a family to do that. I don’t wanna do that on my own, you know.”

“I know,” Eddie says, though if he’s being honest, he hasn’t been raising Christopher on his own for a long time now, with Buck always being here for the both of them. And as much as it pains Eddie to picture Buck with someone else, with a family of his own, he wishes the best for his best friend. “There’s no reason you can’t have a family, you have plenty of time to meet someone.”

Buck sighs. “What if I already met them and I know it won’t work?”

Eddie’s heart clenches a little, thinking that someone’s lucky enough to receive Buck’s affection but doesn’t want it. “Why wouldn’t it work?”

“They already have a family. I don’t think it’d make a difference if I weren’t around.” He shrugs then sees the worried look on Eddie’s face. “It’s fine you know, I’m happy with how things are now, but sometimes I just wish--.”

“Wish you could kiss them and never let them go?” Eddie might be projecting his own wishes here, but Buck nods like it’s exactly what he feels too.

They stay on the swing in silence until the sun starts making room for the moon and Eddie takes a mental picture of the scene, trying to memorize every single little detail of it so he never forgets what bliss feels like, wishing it didn’t have to end.

“It’s getting chilly out there,” Buck says. “I’m gonna get her inside.” He stands up and pauses before entering the house. “It’s you by the way. You’re the one I--” he stops himself, knowing he’s already said way too much, and immediately turns his attention to the little one cooing in his arms. “I should put her back in her crib, see if she’s ready to sleep now,” he adds, avoiding Eddie’s look.

Eddie doesn’t instantly move, afraid of breaking the spell he might be under that made him hear the man he loves says he loves him too. The chill air of the evening makes him shiver, bringing him back to his senses though and he hurries back inside the house and towards the room where Buck’s now singing some lullaby to the little girl.

It’s so peaceful in here Eddie feels like he’s walked into one of his daydreams, with Buck hunched over the crib, singing in whispers and smiling, yet Eddie can barely hear him over the sound of his heart pounding in his ears.

Buck steps aways from the crib and stops when he sees Eddie at the door. “Forget what I said earlier okay? I think I was high on baby smell.” He tries to brush it away with a chuckle but his smile doesn’t reach his eyes and Eddie sees right through him. He sees the fear of being rejected or laughed at, of losing what he cares so much about. 

“Buck.” Eddie has no idea how to say what he needs to say. He’s imagined hundred of ways to have this conversation yet none of those resembled what’s happening now. “Do you really think I wouldn’t see the difference if you weren’t there?”

“You have a life Eddie, you don’t need me in it. I just happen to be here that’s all.”

“I have a life, yes, and you’re a part of it, completely. I don’t know if it was a coincidence or luck that we met, and sometimes I’m scared by how important you’ve become to me, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.” Eddie watches Buck and he knows he doesn’t believe him, not yet. He takes a step towards Buck, pressing his body against him, fingers playing on Buck’s hands to gently interlace their fingers.

“Eddie,” Buck exhales.

“I never expected to find love again, you know. I thought I’d be this single dad who doesn’t need anyone, who keeps his shit together until his son doesn’t need him anymore and then I’d be just a lonely guy with back problems and take away food and--”

Buck chuckles and the sound help Eddie loosen some of the tension in his body and mind, giving him that tiny boost of confidence to finally say the words he wants Buck to hear. 

“But then I met you,” he continues. “And I fell in love with you and now, god you have no idea how scared I am of losing you.”

Buck smiles and rests his forehead against Eddie’s. “I think I do.”

Eddie smiles back, nose brushing on Buck’s cheek, connecting their skin with soft touches until their lips are close enough to melt into one another. Buck’s mouth taste like honey and heaven and kissing him makes Eddie feel like everything is possible. “I love you,” he says, without second guessing himself anymore, without fearing it’s too soon to say it because somehow, it’s been so long since those words formed in his heart it’s almost overdue.

“I love you,” Buck says in turn, burying his head in the crook of Eddie’s neck and the warmth of their embrace feels like home at last.

It feels like home and the start of something else. “I meant it you know, that you’re gonna be a great dad, and I’d like to do that with you, if you’ll have me.”

Buck slightly lets go of Eddie, pulling away so he can look at him. “You never mentioned wanting other kids though, so if--”

“I never expected to have that chance again,” Eddie says shaking his head, “but like I said, that was before you.”

Buck leans in to kiss Eddie again, deepening the kiss like he wants to make sure Eddie understands how much he loves him, and Eddie kisses him back fiercely, every move of his lips a quiet promise of the future they have together.

“I’ll have you then,” Buck chuckles. “Let’s be a family.”

They close the door to let Sofia sleep, leaving their tiny bubble of happiness to step back into the real world, knowing they don’t just have each other’s back, they have each other’s heart, now and forever.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading :)  
> You can reblog from tumblr [here.](https://theladyandthewolves.tumblr.com/post/610935499960483840/theres-certain-things-that-i-ignore-but-im)  
> Like always, every kudos, emoji and comment fill my writer's heart with joy ♥


End file.
